It has been a long time since I have updated this blog site. My apologies on that. I have been busy getting lost in the waves of change and updates in my life. What has come out of this in the long term? I have realized that I need to make time in my life for the things that I want to do and enjoy. I know that if I go through another year dedicating myself and all my time to a company that may not fully appreciate me, then in the end I will only be in a bad place .. both mentally and emotionally. I have learned that I need to find a way to ask for the things that I want in my life because they will not come to me if I don’t seek them out. But how does one do that?

I have never been good at conversations with my managers or bosses in regards to asking for more. I have always thrived in areas where I am told my goals and what I need to accomplish with deadlines, etc … performed and meet what is asked of me and then given feedback from those above me. I have always worked my best where my talents and efforts are seen, acknowledged and appreciated. It has become clear to me that I need to have feedback from my management reps.

How do you move forward from this area? How do you ask your boss to change to benefit the both of you mutually?

Lately there have been a lot of changes and things going on in my life that I have been dealing with inside. First, my mom got really sick and was in the hospital. She had all the signs of a beginning heart attack. Once they got her into the hospital and ran tests, they found out that if it had been a true attack it could have killed her. They also found a bunch of other underlying problems that were happening with her as well, including some internal bleeding. After about a week, she was released with follow-up appointments with various doctors. Still to this day, they don’t know what is causing the bleeding. They keep monitoring her but she is due to return to work on the 9th, which is right around the corner  — and I remain worried about her and what will happen.

At work, Will is no longer working with the company anymore and has quit. He has decided that he wanted to branch out on his own and work for other people doing what he likes to do instead of what he was doing with our company. In turn, this has lead to some uneasiness for me at the office and with my work. For starters, I am being associated with an area of frustration for my boss. So, it makes our relationship difficult because by me being my boss’s assistant, we should have a strong bond. Instead, he seems to be frustrated by Will’s leave and how things went down. He is also frustrated at some items that he discovered about Will after the fact. Which again, puts me in a weird spot. As some of this stuff, I didn’t even know about. :-/

Which leads to the next area … personal life. For a long time now I have felt that we have been simply co-workers and roommates. There have been key areas of Will and my relationship that have been shaky or distant from our grasp. Work has often spilled over into interfering with our personal life for over a year now and because of that we have suffered. Will thinks that now that he is no longer working for the same company, things will get better but I am not sure. It sucks to think of it but it is the reality of the situation. There is a lot to think about and consider. There is a reflection period that needs to take place on everything that has been revealed to me and I am unsure what will happen in the end. And every time I try to think about any of it, I have to be pulled away to concentrate on something else in the current reality of life. Why? Because, life doesn’t have a pause button unfortunately. So … I press on no matter how many bricks I am carrying right now … I press on and hope that my knees don’t give out.

Well, I just got back from a few days spent in Vegas for work. This time, rather than me running an event for my company – I actually attended an event. What was great was this was a JV Event / Conference so it was all focused on pumping you up and setting up an environment to meet people and connect for business. The event was hosted by a group called the Affiliate Mastermind Group which was created and headed up by 2 wonderful women in the industry – DeAnna Rogers and Sheila Farragher-Gemma.  Both of these ladies started in the industry as affiliate managers for speakers and now have grown into their own. They developed the group to help aid in the area of connections in business. They wanted to raise the bar from the typical JV Event feel and conversations to actually help each other. Share knowledge, tips, tools, information, etc. so that everyone can succeed in their businesses and reach their goals and dreams. The group to my knowledge has been around for just over a year now and they have tripled their numbers in that time. It is truly an amazing group to be a part of.

As for the event, it rocked. I started my journey at the event in the Mean 13 Day, which was a special mastermind with a small group of people. We talked about so much in 1 day and shared ideas, thoughts, tips and so much more. We had a chance to also bound with each other so that we could help make connections for each other throughout the weekend. It was such a good move to be in the Mean 13 Day and I learned a lot in there. I also was able to give ideas and thoughts to other people to help them with their challenges and I thought that was great.

Next we rolled into the event itself. The 1st day of the event I got called out from the stage and mentioned somewhere around 7+ times and it was AWESOME!! By having this happen, next thing you knew my name was buzzing around this room full of 148 people and I had people coming up to me and introducing themselves and wanting to find out more about who I was and what I did. I became, rather quickly, this key coordinator that you had to meet and it made me feel like I was on top of the world honestly. I just hope that I was able to contain my blushing in all honesty because little did every know that each time that happened, I felt a little warm.  Over the course of the weekend I was able to collect so much information from the speakers that they had on the stage – people like James Malinchak (ABC’s Secret Millionaire), Diana von Welanetz Wentworth (co-author for Chicken Soup for the Soul), Bill Walsh, Casey Eberhart, Roland Fraiser, Michael Bernoff  and so much more. Each speaker gave amazing content and tips to share with the group.  They had breakout sessions with some of the presenters to give you even more options to further your business. There were after hours networking parties and opportunities, a great mentalist show with Benji Bruce, where I think everyone’s mind was blown by what he could do. It was just the best event that I truly have ever been to.

I know that the connections that I made at the event will last a long time and we will all look to help each other with our businesses. Also, I think I have some amazing people that I connected with and this will help my boss go further and in turn, me as well. As well, because I did such a good job at my goals for this event, my boss is already looking for more JV Events to send me to.   Thus far, I think this was one of the best moves this year for the business, attending that event.

There are changes on the rise and coming my way. First, my boyfriend put in his notice to quit his current position and job. Which in the long run is going to be a good thing. He currently has been working at the same company I have for the past 2 years. We have worked together before at the same company, but it was bigger and there was more separation. This time however, as time has passed, we have been working closer together. Our company is high stress and fast moving and certain things have happened over the years that made us to the realization that if something didn’t change, one or both of us would need to quit. Otherwise, it would continue to effect our personal lives too much. With his new position that he is pursuing he will be able to branch out more and concentrate on the things that he loves to do like I.T. and marketing, solely. I think that he will be happier and in turn our relationship will get back on track again.

I do have some fears about him leaving, one is that I will be treated differently because of it. Which I am severely hoping will not be the case. From day one, I have made it clear to my bosses that him and I were not to be connected in the office. That they should not view us as a couple but as individuals. I guess only time will tell if they can keep to this though. There have already been a few times that they have lumped us together on 1 thing or another. I hope that with him out of the picture I can stand on my own and shine again as I did in the beginning. Ultimately, I hope to get back on the path to success again in my job.

This about sums it up: I Feel So Close to You Right Now

So, this year has been insanity on the schedule front with work. I am torn in my feelings because at one point I am glad that I am busy and traveling around for work but then the other side of me just wants some time at home. I just want a stay-cation for home to curl up on the couch with a comfie blanket, watch movies and relax at home. Another part of me is trying to find the ability to get some funds together and free time so that I can take a trip and visit family. I miss my family and they are so far away that it is hard to meetup with them on a regular basis. But, I am trying to stay positive. I keep telling myself that if I bleed out now for my job and my career, then I can relax later. That I just got a late start into this path and that is why it is taking so long.

I’m not focusing on the matters like .. the hours I work in a week, especially when we have an event. What I am turning this year for my age and my bank account. I am starting my life in an essence where I should have started at 23/24. So, I am about 5-6 years late in the game. It will take awhile for things to smooth out and go OK. I know that the economy current state as well doesn’t help the matters of my goals or anyone elses. I really do wish that our government would get their stuff in order. I look around at everything that is going on in our country and can only shake my head. The waves that are actually worth something just seem to keep getting crashed into a wall.

Can’t we just clone the good people of the world? Bring back some of the big players that have made a difference in our country and have them show the way again to those in charge?

Heck … maybe if I could get myself cloned then I could get somewhere in my path.

So far for the year of 2012 I have been on the road every single month, if not multiple times a month for work. It is crazy but fun at the same time. The best times are when the event that you are at goes smooth and you are around great people that you can enjoy their company. Looking at the calendar it doesn’t look like I am slowing down any time soon …

At this time of the year, things get interesting everywhere you look. At the same point in time, things have changed so much. I remember being a child and when Christmas came around it was a wonderful time. You looked forward to holiday candy that you only got 1 time a year, like different kinds of homemade fudge or chocolate dipped coconut balls. You watched the tree for presents and tried to guess a head of time what they were based on the packing. Some of us would sneak down at night and find ways to open the package early and patch it back without our parents knowing, I was one of them.

Now, in my home we didn’t have a big push on the religious pull on Christmas. In fact, my parents were mixed on the religious part. My dad is Jewish and my mom is Methodist. Although, we always celebrated Christmas and never Hanukhah. We had certain traditions that my family stuck to like making the holiday candy and giving it out as gifts to family friends, teachers, etc. We would drive around on Christmas eve and look at Christmas lights in various neighborhoods. On Christmas day we would have the holiday feast and biscuts -n- gravy in the morning. My mom would make holiday punch and after we had brunch we would open gifts. I was always the ‘holiday elf’ and would pass out the gifts from under the tree to everyone. Later on, I would go out and meet up with my friends to share in the joys of going over the gifts that we got for Christmas.

In almost every holiday movie there is always an underlaying theme that basically, during the holiday season you should both give back and not concentrate on the gifts. You should appreciate the season and give to those less fortunate than yourself. You should appreciate the family and friends and connections that you have in this life and love every minute of it. Yet, I wonder with all the jokes from Christmas becoming Giftmas, is there some truth in the phrase?  Do we or have we changed Christmas from this to Giftmas from the very begining with our children?  Do we create this with them with the push of things like Santa bringing gifts to the good little girls and boys of the world; and trying to get them almost everything that they ask for Christmas that is within our power to give them?

Have we truly lost some of the meaning behind the season? And I am not just referring to Christmas, but all the different celebrations at this time like Festivus, Yule Tide, Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, etc.

OK, so Zombies don’t really sneak up on you too well most of the time. But still, it seems like this year has gone by in a flash. Does anyone else feel like that? I mean in 13 days it will be Christmas. ACK! I just got my decorating done last week. Yeah, I was late on the ball there because I have been traveling and swamped with projects. Here I am traveling for work, trying to prepare for all of these events that we have coming up after the new year and I’m always trying to develop a product. :-/  Will was nice enough to decorate the outside of the house for the season, but I had to do the inside myself. So, it finally got done on Thursday.

At the same time I am trying to budget my money to get the gifts for everyone that I need to buy for. I have spoiled Will by giving him 4 of his presents early, because he found out. So, he got a little voodoo guy key chain (which looks like Frankenstein), the new Chuck Palahniuk book ‘Damned’, a set of noise cancelling earbuds and some transformer cuff links. I still have some other gifts on their way, which hopefully will be here before Christmas. I gotta get some items for other people as well. I had great plans for some of my friends then apparently other people found out or tuned into my mind and bought the items I saw from the stores.   I hate it when I come up with awesome ideas and don’t have the money to buy it in time. I still need to figure out some kinds of awesome for the family as well. (Which are sometimes the hardest to shop for.)

So, this weekend I went down to the Orlando area for my very first taste of a JV conference. This one was hosted by a group called, the Affiliate Mastermind Group. Their whole purpose is to connect speakers, authors, promoters, vendors and affiliate coordinators together to build new relationships and fill events. It was interesting to be there, because this was the first one I have been to. I had a mini taste of what one was like when Zack did his launch event. From that event I got to see the faces of some top people in the industry but they really didn’t meet me. (I don’t think I made a lasting impression as I was just introduced as Zack’s assistant.) However, this time I was fluttering around everywhere I could. Meeting people, introducing myself and getting business cards, etc. Trying to get to know people and allowing them to get to know me, share ideas for them to move their businesses forward and making connections for our company.

The event was 3 days full of solid presenters, great panel discussions and little networking activities smudged in as well. I didn’t get a chance to meet everyone in the room, but I think I got close. I even managed to get some stage time by being the presenter for the groups I worked with on the networking activities, speaking for Zack as a sponsor of the event (because he was gone to sell at another event) and being on a panel for coordinators. Then, I got a few surprises mixed in during the event. I got to hang out with some great people .. had a lot of people coming up to me and complimenting me on my work and telling me that others were saying great things about me. Then, the bomb that blew my mind … on the last day they gave out awards and I got presented with an award for 2011 Coordinator of the Year!  I was blown away and so happy to get it. I didn’t even know that they were giving out awards.

Then, on my flights back home to Alabama .. the glory continued. I sat next to a very interesting man on my flight from Orlando to Atlanta, who was a Marine. He actually told me that he goes to all kinds of conferences and speaks to tell his story and wants to write a book, build a non-profit to help military when they come back from war and more. I ended up giving him my card and told him to reach out to me and I will help him to get connected to some people that I can help him. Considering that at the event I got to meet people like Robert Allen, David Fagan, Paul Bauer and more. I got his bio story today that I am going to read through and see if I can help him to get some sponsorship or a mentor to help him reach his goal, because that is what he needs. He has a fantastic idea and no clue how to connect the pieces and make it happen.

While in the ATL airport I picked up a book that I have been meaning to get … the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It seems like this book has been brought up to me almost 10 times or more in my lifetime and yet I have never read it.

It is so interesting to go to an event for a few days; meet all kinds of great people, learn amazing things and then leave with this whole new fire of determination and ideas of things that you can do. I have an idea for a product that I might develop. I have a new drive to succeed .. in life. Not in business, not make a bunch of money … but in life, be happy and succeed in everything I touch. It is like I had a reset button pushed and found this drive that I haven’t had since high school.  And everyone I meet, I am trying to find the potential in them and what their message is … like my wonderful airplane mate, Christopher O’Connor.

New road … new goals… new drive and speed …..  Let’s see what kind of scenery we will catch along the way.

MOVING COMPLETE! We got moved into the new house with some major help from friends in the area.  I am so thankful to have friends that were willing to come out and lend a helping hand in getting us moved because with Will out of town for work, I honestly had no idea how I was going to get it done. We all managed to get it done in just under 6 hours.   We only managed to loose 1 small bookcase and 1 small cabinet that held our games.

Everything is in the new place, but now I have to get it out of the boxes and bins that it is packed up in. :-/ I don’t think anything else that was packed up got damaged. I already unpacked the glass stuff from the kitchen and those seem to make it through just fine. The challenge that I face is the deadline to be unpacked before the housewarming party. I set a goal for us to be unpacked for motivation. Normally a 2 week window isn’t a bad thing, however when you are traveling for an event for work for 1 of those weekends … then it is a challenge.

Kitty seems to be adjusting just fine. I think he will be better once all the boxes disappear. Right now at night he roams around the house meowing randomly and I think he is still on edge because things are packed up and he is worried he may go back into the carrier again. I could be wrong on this and perhaps he is trying to find out what he sounds like in different parts of the house. I know that he has had slightly too much catnip and random bugs in his lifetime to date. So, anything is possible.